Burning Ice
by krazykatie
Summary: The process of becoming a vampire...When it happened to Edward..........of course, my computer has decided to be dumb and DOESN'T LET ME PUBLISH ANYTHING!
1. The Last Moments

**I know this is short. I got the idea form a Twilight-obsessed friend of mine.**

* * *

"Dr. Cullen," I whispered. I could barely hear myself and was surprised when the handsome doctor turned to face me.

"What is it Edward?" he said calmly. It boggled me that he was able to stay so calm. Around us was ultimate death, the presence of it so thick that I swear I could feel it suffocating me. And he, a healthy doctor, was risking his life among the disease-ridden bodies to save any that he could. And yet he was still calm.

"Doctor," I croaked, "My mother…is she…?"

Dr. Cullen touched his hand to my shoulder, his skin cold against the searing heat of my fever. "She's still alive."

The relief of his hand left and he went to walk out. But I needed his company. I wouldn't let myself die alone among the unfriendly stench of the fever that had claimed my father and would soon claim my mother and I…

"How long?" and he amazed me again by hearing me.

"Not long, Edward. I'm sorry. I will try to save her."

His voice faded away as I tried to remain conscious. I wanted to live. But…at this point, what was there to live _for?_ My dad was dead…my mother was dying…the influenza had claimed my father's brother, anyone close to me…even that little girl down the road…There _was_ nothing to live for…nothing at all…


	2. Torture

Fire! I was on fire, I could have sworn it. it was the only way to possibly come close to describing the searing tortuous pain that coursed through my arm, and the pain was slowly spreading to my neck and to the rest of my body. Perhaps I was dead, and this what death felt like. From what I was feeling, I must've been going to hell. Or maybe I _was_ in hell. Yes. That was what I was feeling. Hell.

The fire crept throughout my very soul, which I could feel was being drained away from me. Is that what they do in the ninth circle of hell? Steal your soul by tearing you apart with fire?

I couldn't feel anything solid. The only thing I felt besides the cruel burning of the fire was a relieving cool. I felt it on my…skin. It was there. A temporary relief on just one small part of me.

"Edward…" a voice called, sounding more distant than the moon. The voice was good…kind…like velvet. I wanted to respond I opened what I thought was my mouth but all that came out was a scream, a scream of torture.

I could now tell that my body was there. But the only reason I could tell was because I suddenly came to realize that my lungs weren't working. Breathing was difficult because of it – the only thing that made that difficult was that a scream came out every time I tried to breathe.

The pain was in the core of my being. My soul was gone – I'd felt that being wrenched from me. I was burning and at the same time I was freezing, yet not so that I might shiver.

And the pain was still there.

I realized that…my body wasn't working like it should. After all, don't you take for granted the gentle rising and falling of your chest? The warmth that is always your own body heat? And most of all…the last working thing that kept me alive and consciously aware of anything that was happening was the constant, though strained, thumping of my heart.

The pain crept up on my heart and surrounded it. I didn't want my heart to be taken under the undertow of this, but I couldn't stop it. I had no idea what would happen after that…

But the inevitable happened. It came over my heart and it stopped beating.


	3. Thoughts and Confusion

**This part's longer than the last two. Hope it's better.**

* * *

And there was no more pain. The pain…Gone. All gone. I suddenly became acutely aware of my surroundings. I heard the high-pitched twittering of a bird, every whistle that was too high to be natural. I felt the hard, damp ground beneath me, every tiny pebble and rock.

And I smelled blood.

I jumped up and let my body carry me, my senses lead me.

The next thing I knew, something soft and juicy with blood filled my mouth. I let the liquid slide down my throat and the utmost relief washed over me.

_'Don't want to die…wife and kids…'_

What was that?

_'I guess it's true…your life does flash before your eyes…'_

The thought was in my head, but I hadn't thought it.

_'Lord, what did I ever do?'_

I was…hearing things? In my head.

'_I _hate_ the smell here.'_

'_Where's my little girl?'_

'_I wish they'd find a better place to put those bodies.'_

'_Who on earth is _that_?'_

With the last thought – that I'll stress was not mine – came a murky image of a dead or unconscious person who suddenly jumped up and darted faster than the eye could see up off the ground and behind a building. I was jarred by this image.

But more jarred was I by my lust for blood.

'_I love the full moon.'_

Damn it, where were these thoughts coming from?

The thing still hung from my mouth. But it held no blood anymore. I spat it out and darted for the next thing that smelled like blood. I thrust it in my mouth.

'_I don't hear anything…I wonder if the change is complete?'_

These voices. I swear, I was going crazy.

Someone came up behind me. I didn't hear them I…well, I smelled them. I whirled to look at who it was, although I already knew. How I knew, I couldn't tell you. Almost as clear as if it were day, I could see Dr. Cullen standing there. He was just the same as the last time I'd seen him, that day now seeming a millennium ago.

'_It's complete.' _This thought definitely, without a doubt, came from Dr. Cullen. _'I pray I haven't just done something horrible.'_

"Edward," Dr. Cullen said quietly, though I heard him loud and clear.

I suddenly became aware that I couldn't answer him with a mouthful of whatever it was in my mouth. Spitting it out, I said, "Hello, Dr. Cullen."

'_Oh my lord, what is he doing? He's not… I should have expected that.'_

"Edward, is that person dead?" Dr. Cullen asked.

I blinked. What did he mean?

'_I certainly hope that person is dead. He's not moving, so he probably is.'_

"Edward, is that person you're holding dead?" he repeated.

I looked down. Still and with a sickly paleness to him, I held in my hands an elderly man. I could tell that he had been infected with the influenza like I'd been. Along his cheekbone was a broad stream of blood coming from a crescent-shaped wound.

He looked dead. He looked very dead. But I was touching his bare skin and he was still warm to me.

I stared at the blood for a brief second before leaning down and sucking in more of the life-liquid.

Something eternally strong pulled me off of and away from my meal. I fought against it for more of the blood, but I was being held back by something too strong.

'_I never considered this…what if he goes after people instead of animals?'_

These thoughts were _really_ annoying.

"Edward, stop it!" Dr. Cullen ordered. I paid him little heed.

'_I have a feeling this was a mistake.'_

I couldn't help but think that Dr. Cullen had something to do with the reason I was lusting for this person's blood.

I still craved the blood but I turned to the doctor. I suddenly had the feeling that it was extremely important to listen to him.

I turned to look at the thing of strength that had pulled me from the dead man.

Dr. Cullen surprised me again by being the one strong enough to have done it. "Edward," he said for the fifth time that evening, "Follow me. I can help you."

'_I hope I can.'_

That last thought sounded like it had to do with what the doctor had just said. Like his personal thought response. Meant for no one to hear.

"With what?" I spat back.

He seemed surprised by my snapping reaction.

'_Perhaps changing him into a vampire really was a mistake…'_

What??

"Come with me," he ordered again.

There was more to this than met the eye, and Dr. Cullen knew all about it. I followed.

I followed him into the chilled night, my body giving no heat to protect me from the cold.

'_I hate this neighborhood.'_

'_That poor kitten.'_

The random thoughts were back.

'_I'll take him to the woods,' _was what came from the doctor's thoughts. It certainly seemed like it had been him.

I followed him until we arrived at the outskirts of a forest. The whole way there, I suppressed my urge to run off to the distant smell of the blood and suck it from its rightful owner, and tried to ignore the stream of never-ending thoughts that bombarded me, making my head spin.

We reached the first tree that marked the outskirts of an endless forest.

'_I don't want to confuse him, but maybe he'll believe me better if we run.'_

"See if you can keep up with me," said Dr. Cullen. Without waiting for me to say anything, he turned and walked off into the woods.


	4. The Truth Unveiled

**This one really isn't as good as the rest. Sorry.**

* * *

It wasn't hard matching his pace. But every time I almost caught up to him, he would go just a little faster.

'_He's right behind me. Good. I'll speed up now.'_

Dr. Cullen began to move at a jogging pace and I matched his speed. Gradually, he went faster and faster. We were running now. Running. Faster. Faster, faster, faster. And soon we were running faster than I thought would be possible without collapsing of exhaustion, yet I wasn't tired at all.

And still he kept running.

He kept pushing the speed. I was sure he'd stop at an even speed and stop accelerating at some point, but he didn't. The trees flew by in a rapid blur. In all my short life, never had I even been in a vehicle that had moved at this speed. I didn't feel my feet touch the ground as I came up on the doctor's heels. We were not running anymore. We were flying. Whizzing, if you will.

And he continued to gain speed.

'_There's a clearing up ahead. We'll stop there.'_

And suddenly he stopped. As soon as he was no longer moving, I halted.

We were in a small clearing, the moon shining down on us with ample light. The ground was hard and covered with leaves, yet Doctor Cullen walked across the leaves without making a sound. He sat on a fallen tree trunk on the opposite end of the small clearing we were in. I did not move.

"Now, Edward, I'm sure you have quite a few questions to ask about what has happened. And…" he trailed off.

'_How am I going to tell this to him without him thinking we're both crazy?'_

"Don't worry about if you'll seem crazy, Doctor. Just tell me."

He looked shocked, astounded. _'How was he to know I thought he'd think we were crazy?'_

"Tell me from the beginning, Doctor," I demanded.

He sighed. "You have a right to know, and I plan to tell you everything."

'_I still don't know where to begin. I already knew vampires existed when it happened to me, and I had a hard time accepting it. How will he–'_

"What is with the vampires??" I blurted angrily. I hadn't intended to say it out loud, but it had just come out. Now he'd think _I _was the crazy one.

He stared at me, bewildered.

'_I never mentioned vampires. How could he know?'_

I was positive now that I was hearing what Dr. Cullen was thinking. It seemed to fit into the situation too well.

He regained his composure. "Since you seem to know, I'll tell you right out–"

But I didn't bother to listen. I already knew what he was going to say. I listened to his thoughts.

'_He's a vampire now.'_ That part still had me confused._ 'He'll have to come with me. I hope that he'll accept all this.'_

"Doctor," I said. I still didn't understand the whole 'He's a vampire' thing. I had always been very strongly under the impression that vampires were fantasy. Fairy tales. Not real. "What are you talking about? I could have sworn I was going to hell, and all of a sudden I'm alive and not even sick anymore and…" but I stopped.

'_He…doesn't…know…But then why did he mention vampires? If he knew, he'd understand why he'd thought he was in hell but clearly he doesn't know.'_

I was getting angry now. I wasn't sure if I was dead or alive, awake or dreaming, crazy or sane, in heaven or hell…I wasn't even sure if I was human. There were just two things I was sure of – I no longer had the influenza, and I had an insuppressible urge to drink blood.

"Edward…" he said matter-of-factly. "Do you or do you not know what a vampire is?"

"Well of course I know what a vampire is! Everyone does!" I shouted at him.

He stared blankly at the ground, pondering.

'_He really doesn't believe in vampires, does he?'_

"But do you think they are real?"

This was a question I'd hoped to avoid. Are they real? I'd thought not. But perhaps they really were…if it were possible for me to hear not only what I was thinking but also what the doctor was thinking as well, then I suppose that anything was possible.

I shook my head. "I have no idea." I stared him down with a cold, hard death glare filled with as much venom as I could put into it. "Are they?"

Dr. Cullen looked back up at me.

'_Well, they are. I'll explain what one is first.'_

He started talking. He said that vampires were born of a bite of another vampire and could run quickly and lift unbelievable amounts of weight. He said that vampires lived for eternity and died in very minimal ways.

That was what he said.

His thoughts matched that. Except that his thoughts clearly stated that both he and I were vampires. His thoughts said that vampires were exquisitely gorgeous – he decided he'd let me figure that one out by myself.

But he also said and thought that vampires needed to drink blood to survive.


	5. His Confusion

**I still don't think that this is as good as the others but...**

* * *

"That is what a vampire is. Now, Edward," Dr. Cullen said, holding up a hand to stop me from interrupting as he continued on with his most informative speech. I was going to ask him my question again, the one he'd failed to answer. The questionable theory that vampires existed, though I was quite aware from his thoughts that they did. "Yes. Vampires are real."

'_Now to break the truth to him lightly…'_

"I already _know_ the truth!" I exclaimed. I was really getting tired of this. I knew, he knew. Time to bring the facts forward. "I'm a vampire. You're a vampire. You basically just straight out _told_ me!"

He gaped. He remained speechless. But I must say, his thoughts told me quite a bit of different things than his expression did. I was beginning to like listening in on his mind. It opened up a lot about a person.

'_He came to terms awfully quickly. And he seemed to figure it out pretty fast, too, although he's right about me handing him the information on a platter. I suppose if you don't know how you're running fast one second and the next second you find out that only vampires can run that quickly, I suppose it's that obv–'_

"I didn't figure it out from what you told me, Doctor. I mean you really did practically come out and say 'We are both vampires,'" I annunciated clearly, "almost word for word."

It finally hit me that perhaps I shouldn't be responding to his thoughts. Or letting him know that I knew what he was thinking.

But hey, if I have to deal with a startling shock, so can he.

This time his gape was real. His mouth dropped and hung there. His thoughts matched the gape this time, coming in short blurbs of sentences.

'_What…I never said that…What does he...He mentioned vampires before me…I wonder if…'_

After the long string of thoughts came an image. It was of a man wearing a long, elegant, black robe. The man's skin was ghastly white, almost translucent, and looked flaky and frail, almost as if it was crumble under the slightest touch. His hair countered his skin. It was long and black, gently coming at his shoulders. Out of the black and white picture of this man – this vampire – came two piercing red irises around his milky pupil. The foggy layer over his eye almost made him look blind.

One short, confusing word accompanied this image.

'_Aro,'_

The whole thought came in just one moment, and the whole thing made no sense at all.

"Edward," he said slowly, "I never said that. I never actually said that you and I are vampires."

"But we are."

He stared off into space. _'We are.'_

"Yes, we are."

"Why?"

I myself don't know why I asked the question. I believe I was more or less asking why I was a vampire and not dead. What had prompted a vampire to bite me in the first place? I assumed it was Dr. Cullen who had bitten me. It only made sense.

He gave me a curious look. "Because we were bitten by other vampires."

Which was actually a little too obvious for my taste.

'_What does he mean? He's being far too confusing.'_

"Who was I bitten by? You? Why?"

"Because your mother wanted me to save you any way possible."

My…mother? Just because she wanted me to stay alive at any cost? I felt a horrible pang in my chest. He could have done the same to her. And he very well might have if I'd asked him to. If just asking him to save your loved one, and he'd have done it, would save them…it made me regret that I'd been selfish enough not to ask the same of her.

Mother was dead. She was never coming back.

I'd died. And I was back.


End file.
